Are you throwing a party and worried about last-minute cancellations? Have you been disappointed by friends in the past? Truth be told, I am guilty. I have been both a guest who cancels at the last minute, as well as a hostess whose guests have cancelled at the last minute. I can speak to both why people cancel, as well as to how it feels to be ‘done to’. As the host/hostess of the party, it is absolutely natural to feel angry and disappointed (anger & sadness). After all, you planned, prepared, anticipated, and looked forward to. But, here is the secret most ‘last-minute-cancellers’ hold. They usually don’t come because of a deep insecurity of feeling less-than in a social group setting. For example, the Holidays are supposed be joyful and jolly. For many, this is true. For others, who have conflict-filled family situations or are single (not by choice) or widowed, or simply experience a depressed feeling of loneliness around Holiday time, it can feel like an overwhelming burden when faced with the ordeal of ‘what shall I wear?’; ‘what will I say to initiate conversation with strangers?’; ‘I didn’t buy a gift for the Hostess”; and other ruminating worries that spell out “Am I good enough?” It is very important for the host/hostess to do their best to not take a last minute cancellation or no-show personally. It almost never is personal. It is a reflection of a deeper level of low-confidence and self-worth on the part of your beloved guest. Don’t discard a precious friend who can’t get it together for a social event. Give them another chance. If they prove to be a Serial Last Minute Canceller prepare for it so you’re not surprised and disappointed next time.