Dr. Fran’s Top 3 Things That Can Hamper a Relationship

1.  Ignoring a reasonable request.  After you and your partner/spouse have discussed an issue and he has expressed displeasure and irritation with one of your negative personal habit and you ignore him.  Repetition of habits like leaving dirty coffee cups in your bedroom, stacking papers/boxes in your living quarters, and even leaving the cap off the toothpaste can poison a good feeling.  Whatever your companion’s pet peeve is, if he respectfully requests you cease and desist, listen and do it.  These are the things that pile up on one’s emotional complaint list and in the long run carry the weight of a one-two punch!

2.  Lack, or poor, communication.  Implement regular face-to-face conversation.  Talking is the glue that holds relationships together.  We are living in fast-paced stressful times.  People can get easily caught up focusing on work, finance, the kids and daily routines.  This can derail concentrating on what is most valuable – your relationship and family.  Over-focus will, naturally, occur periodically.  But, be sure to return to regular short periods of daily dialogue, plus at least one night a week that is secured for Date Night.  By the way, when couples stop talking, sex immediately follows.  You’d be surprised how many young, healthy people are living in sexless marriages.  Dialogue and conversation should mean each person gets a turn to talk while the other listens without interrupting.  Issues, challenges, and problems do not need to be resolved.  The key is the person to feel heard, validated, and accepted – flaws and all!

3.  Betrayal.  Of course, everyone knows that infidelity hampers and is even a deal-breaker in a relationship.  But, there are other kinds of betrayals.  Don’t make large purchases (house, expensive art work, cars) without consulting your spouse, or partner “if” your money is co-mingled first.  This type of betrayal is tough on a relationship and difficult to repair.  Also, don’t talk to her best girlfriend and keep the content to yourself.  It can form a triangle and raise all types of suspicions that push you further away from your beloved. 

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