(CNN) — The tree is twinkling, carolers are singing, eggnog is flowing and your spouse is … hunkered down in the other room, counting the seconds until the season is over. Can’t he or she just suck it up and make with the merry? After all, who doesn’t love the holidays?

Plenty of folks, to their yearly consternation, find themselves in mixed humbug/holly-jolly relationships. It can prove to be a great stressor to those on both sides of the holiday celebration divide, with resentments, disappointments and wounded feelings that keep the atmosphere chilly, even after the season’s snow has melted.

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