LAST-MINUTE PARTY CANCELLATIONS

Are you throwing a party and worried about last-minute cancellations?  Have you been disappointed by friends in the past?  Truth be told, I am guilty.  I have been both a guest who cancels at the last minute, as well as a hostess whose guests have cancelled at the last minute.  I can speak to both why people cancel, as well as to how it feels to be ‘done to’.  As the host/hostess of the party, it is absolutely natural to feel angry and disappointed (anger & sadness).  After all, you planned, prepared, anticipated, and looked forward to.  But, here is the secret most ‘last-minute-cancellers’ hold.  They usually don’t come because of a deep insecurity of feeling less-than in a social group setting.  For example, the Holidays are supposed be joyful and jolly.  For many, this is true.  For others, who have conflict-filled family situations or are single (not by choice) or widowed, or simply experience a depressed feeling of loneliness around Holiday time, it can feel like an overwhelming burden when faced with the ordeal of ‘what shall I wear?’; ‘what will I say to initiate conversation with strangers?’; ‘I didn’t buy a gift for the Hostess”; and other ruminating worries that spell out “Am I good enough?”  It is very important for the host/hostess to do their best to not take a last minute cancellation or no-show personally.  It almost never is personal.  It is a reflection of a deeper level of low-confidence and self-worth on the part of your beloved guest.  Don’t discard a precious friend who can’t get it together for a social event. Give them another chance.  If they prove to be a Serial Last Minute Canceller prepare for it so you’re not surprised and disappointed next time.

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