Sexting and Anthony Weiner

As an experienced psychotherapist, I now have seen enough evidence to confidently declare that Anthony Weiner has serious personality and character problems that are indelibly in him.  No amount of therapy can fix a person who refuses to take responsibility and be accountable for their actions.  There are many different ways to say “I’m sorry” but the only way that counts is that in which the person really means it.  That said, people want to understand why Mr. Weiner’s wife stays with him.  There are a few ways to begin to bring meaning to her decision.  Some women need the “family” to stay together.  Family carries a strong value and weight perhaps because there was divorce, chaos, and turbulence in their families of origin.  They can’t bear to lose the other parent, the foundation of the family.  Other women may be in denial wishing and hoping that “this time” my man will get it together and walk the straight and narrow.  Whatever the personal reasons are for Huma Abedin, it is important for us to remain open-minded and non-judgmental.  No one really knows what goes on in their personal lives except for those two people living in their home.

A person who can’t get enough of sexting has a complicated personality.  First, he is a Narcissist in that his pleasure comes first;  he lacks the component in his personality that can imagine the impact of his own behavior on others;  and his grandiose belief that he can and will get away with the secrecy.  Sexting counts as cheating because the wife feels betrayed and violated.  If you discover your partner is sexting other women online confront him.  If he lies, denies, or blames you for invading his privacy you can be sure there is more trouble ahead.  If he owns up to his misgivings and shows genuine remorse, regret, and begs to get help then you’ve got a shot for a future.  Women, try to be painfully honest with yourselves whether this is a one-time failing or if this is a pattern.  I am currently treating a couple in which the man is a serial sexting/cheater.  His lady is hurt and angry each time she catches him.  But, she continues to go back and give him another chance.  It has become vicious cycle.  This  cycle will be very difficult to break since both partners are rigidly invested in keeping things status quo.

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