• “You do so much for them, they must want to be with you all the time.”
This is hurtful because no child wants to be with their grandparents all the time.
• “If you really want a relationship with your grandchildren go to their Facebook page.”
This comment can render a grandparent helpless since many do not know how to use Facebook.
• “How can you let him talk disrespectfully to you…you’re his grandmother.”
Behavioral management of children lies primarily in the hands of parents, not grandparents. Every child is on a learning curve. Some kids are still learning to inhibit disrespectful impulses. It’s not grandma’s fault.
• “Your grandkids are so wild, don’t their parents teach them how to behave?”
This type of comment is a direct criticism about your children’s parenting skills. It’s an insult to grandma, too.
• “You’re go good to your grandchildren. Enjoy them while you can because you know how teenagers only want to be with their friends.”
This is a particularly hurtful statement because it triggers unnecessary separation anxiety in grandma. Enjoy today…why worry about tomorrow.
• “Do you go to all their basketball games?…they may not always want a big cheering section.”
Many grandparents reap pleasure from watching their grandchildren compete in sports. It’s mean to imply the kids may not always want grandma there. It’s also none of their bee’s wax.
• “Mother’s Day is coming…they better honor you as you deserve.”
This may be insensitive because it implies you give to your kids and grandkids with an expectation of something in return.
Also, many young families mark Mother’s Day by making mommy feel special and honored. Grandmothers often take a backseat to mothers. If they don’t make a big deal over grandma this comment may rub it in.
Happy early Mother’s Day, moms and grandmas!